My Immortal: The Commentary
by Blade Banks
Summary: I own nothing but my opinions, this is my take on the most infamous fanfiction ever!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there! I'm doing my first commentary here! My comments are all in bold!**

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik** no your not!**) 2 my gf (ew not in that way** you thought it first!**) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling** bad job she did**. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2 **poor, unsuspecting Justin**! MCR ROX!** I'm surprised that anyone can possibly read this!**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way** I already want to kill myself** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name** yeah, we figured that!**) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **WHAT THE FUCK!** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here! **I know who she is and I also know that she is ashamed to be mentioned in such an awful story!**). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie **wouldn't that be incest!**. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white** not possible**. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England** wrong, its in Scotland** where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell **I'd never have guessed**) and I wear mostly black **as being a goth requires**. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow **who else didn't bother reading that detailed description**. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **impossible** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about **sadly for us!**. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them **how polite!**.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!** that was unnessersary!**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **Draco Malfoy is not shy!**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. **Friends? Friends? She has friends?**

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz! **No.**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok! **If you look, Tara and Raven's profiles are still on , they are both shit!**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom **in the ditch outside**. It was snowing and raining again **This. Is. Impossible**. I opened the door of my coffin **oh fucking hell** and drank some blood from a bottle I had **yeah its just **. My coffin was black ebony **fan-fucking-tastic** and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends **you know that Tara is not actually a goth!**. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!** An authors note in the middle of a story! Very professional**) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **OMFG your a bitch!**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing. **I'd be suprised if anyone can see you blush under all that slap you wear!**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **OH MY GOD! KILL ME NOW!**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me. **Because that's likely to happen, a muggle band in Hogsmead!**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.** That was unnessersary! Anyone wanna guess the answer?**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK **Nope! I'm quite happy with my flaming!**! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws **was that 2/1000 reviews**! FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.** 'dis' meaning Harry Potter**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner **guess who has panda eyes in the morning**. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway** what about all the other times you said you wore foundation?**. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car **did he steal it from the Weasley's**. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too) **poor them**, baggy black skater pants **I'm sure Draco would love to wear skater pants**, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok! **Only the loners!**).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **I'm sorry but if you were going to the concert of your favourite band, any normal person would be happy! Theres no pleasing this woman!**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666** yeah cause you can get lincence plates in Britain that say 666! No you can't!**) and flew to the place with the concert **Hogsmead?**. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs** isn't Draco supposed to be driving the flying car!**. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song** I bet she just googled the lyrics!**).

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.** I wonder why!**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.** A bit slow!**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.** Draco is not sensitive!**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face** cause its possible to have a blonde face! I'm sure it can't be as bad as yours Ebony**.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them** I'm sure they refused**. We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest! **Good! I hope you die in there!**


End file.
